John 11

39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.”
Martha, the sister of him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days.”
40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” 41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead man was lying.[d] And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. 42 And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” 43 Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” 44 And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with grave clothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”

I really like the sentences of at verse 40 “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of GOD. This is so true, if we believe, then we will see the glory of GOD. However, in fact, it is easier to say than done. I used to struggle with “believe” concept. Honestly, being a practical person, I had hard time to believe in something that seems possible. In this Lazarus story, it seems possible that Lazarus will live again, even some Jews, who knew that Jesus could open the eyes of blind man, doubted that Jesus can make Lazarus live again. I used to have some doubt like those Jews have, even though I have heard lot testimonies in regard with such miracles.

I have a testimony to share. Thank GOD, few months ago, God has let me experienced His great mightiness. My graduation process was not very smooth. I had one subject left that I failed fourth time. It really made me frustrated and devastated. I wasn’t a straight-A student but normally I would be able to pass exam with ease. This subject was the only one that I need to re-take whereas the others subject I passed right after first attempts. And as I had finished my thesis, I was so desperate to graduate as soon as possible so I wrote an appeal letter for examination board to ask for special arrangement because I did not want to further delaying my graduation. When I submitted the letter, I only had 4 weeks left until the deadline of March graduation and the staff at the examination board told me that the process of this special request would take up tp 3 weeks to be processed and plus, I needed time to study and prepare for the extra-retake and the teacher needed time to grade it. Thus, rationally, it wouldn’t be impossible to be done within 4 weeks. At that time, I had given up this hope and I thought if I couldn’t make it this March then June would be fine. Moreover, the professor had written at the course manual that he would not give any extra-chance besides the normal scheduled exams. At that time, I did not pray about it seriously because I thought it would be impossible anyway.

However, during the waiting process, I heard a sermon about this Lazarus story then I asked myself “would I believe to see the glory of GOD?” “Do I really want to see the glory of GOD in my life”. And I decided to start to pray about this and it was quite difficult to convince myself to believing something that sounds impossible. And I had many doubts such as “The professor is very busy, he would not be able to grade my essay in such short time” “Would I able to write this essay only within few days” “Would I have enough time to do research, read that much articles, journals then eventually write the essay?” But, since I was so desperate then I didn’t have any choice but believe and have faith in GOD.



However, thanks GOD, only after few days, I got a reply from the professor and he said that I did not have to do exam instead, I could write a paper which I can choose the topic. And, he agreed to grade my paper on-the-spot so that I would have more than enough time to write this essay. I was so surprised as normally, this professor is a killer one and it was not easy to pass his course. And I kept praying about my essay so that I could produce a “sufficient paper” in such short time. I was only after I prayed seriously about this that everything started to become smooth and possible. Indeed, throughout the whole process I’ve felt the abidance of GOD and witnessed how GOD prepares everything. I really thank GOD that He guided me and gave me strength through out the writing process so that I could finish the essay on time. Only 3 hours later after I delivered my essay, the professor informed me that I passed the course and the grade was much higher than I expected. I was able to register my graduation just only few hours before the deadline ended and at the end of March; I successfully defended my thesis and graduated.

I really thanks GOD that I had chosen to believe even thought everything seemed impossible. GOD is the mighty one and everything is possible through Him. Up to now, this experience was my biggest challenge in my faith journey, and I thanks GOD that GOD has helped me throughout the process. During this process, I have learned that I shouldn’t worry about “tomorrow” but put faith in GOD and pray fervently and GOD will open the way. Few months ago, I felt devastated and frustrated that I didn’t pass this exam after many attempts and there was time that I kind of lost hope. Nevertheless, looking back, now, I am thankful that I went through this experience in order to see GOD’s glory. Now, I have truly come to understand that GOD always prepares the best for us. So when something went wrong and didn’t turn out like we wished, don’t be discourage, but lift our eyes through prayer. Through prayer and faith, we will receive strength from GOD to bravely overcome all the difficulties.

May the name of God be praise and thank Him for showing me His wonderful graces.