acts 8

<18-21> now when simon saw that through the laying on of the apostles'
hands the Holy Spirit was given, he offered them money, saying, "give me
this power also, that anyone on whom i lay hands on may recieve the Holy
Spirit." but peter said to him, "your money perish with you, becuase you
thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money! you have neither
part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in th sight of
God."

i think that often through 'bad' characters in the Bible, we can really try
to dig deep and see if we can find ourselves reflected in them. many times,
it may be hard to listen to others' critiques - i know that my mom says that
i have a big issue with this, even though i am blind to it. sometimes,
drawing out my own weaknesses through the weaknesses and falls of unrelated
Bible characters help me see through my layers and finally see my motives
and basic nature. they also educate me on the final results of my life if i
followed in their ways. they teach me how i should live my life better.

in this case, simon is a new convert who used to practice sorcery. maybe we
would've laughed at his being foolish for offering money in exchange for
God's powers. however, remembering that he is but a spiritual infant and
that the spiritual realm is still very new to him - it drew a little more
sympathy from me becuase he just did not know any better.

other than just this, i see that what is important to us seems to alwasy
stay with us. what was important to us, before God became important, still
linger in our hearts and plays an invisible hand in our lives! it's hard to
forsake ourselves sometimes - the old habits, the way we carry ourselves,
the ways we react to others, our lifestyles, ... the way we feel about God.
simon shows me that. he was a sorcerer - it was his entire life! it was
important that he was able to do different and extraordinary things in this
world. that is how he was able to live and how he was respected by others.

similarly, today we hold on to other kinds of things - things that are
uniquely 'us'. maybe even things that mean the world to us. but we have to
remember what peter said - those things will perish with us. we all know
that what is God's can never be exchanged. if we can't let things go then we
can't have part or portion with God, becuase our hearts are not with God
completely yet. i don't know how to say this well, but i think this really
is important. simon would have to give up what he knew, what he was
successful in, his reputation, basically his life! - to find God. Jesus well
said a parable - a man when he found a treasure, would bury it and sell all
he has to buy the land w/ that treasure hidden inside. perhaps it takes our
wisdom and insight to really decide - from within, very consciously - that
God is whom we want to live our lives for. that forever is worth trading in
whatever it is we hold on to, and consciously see ourselves trading and
giving them up to God.

sometimes i am foolishly content w/ my spirituality - not that i mindfully
say "i like the way i am spiritually", but that i almost exuberate that in
my life. i think all of us are beyond the verbal confession of serious
weaknesses in the faith, saying that we forsook God. however, all of us have
forsaked God at some point of our lives; we have traded something else for
God before ... remember that we have had those moments even if we do not
recall, and remember that God is much sweeter than what we know of Him so
far. there has to be a much longer journey ahead, becuase a God-saturated
life has to be much more beautiful than the one i am living today.